I have been a reluctant, yet avid, fan of reality television since its onset many years ago. In 1992, I watched with innocent eyes as MTV premiered The Real World to skeptical audiences. Unknowingly beginning a trend that, 11 years later, has spiraled wildly out of control. I unfortunately have been caught like a deer in headlights for the entirety of this 11 year evolution. I watched each season of the Real World with religious fervor, and when MTV decided to add Road Rules to its reality repertoire, I jumped on the bandwagon without skipping a beat. Embarassed, I kept my addiction quiet, though it was quickly revealed that I wasn’t the only one watching. It soon became clear to producers that TV viewers as a whole seemed to be a voyeuristic lot, and it therefore came as no surprise when the major networks finally opened thier eyes and eventually picked up on the trend. With the premiers of such shows as Survivor and The Mole, reality television broke through into broadcast TV, and there was no stopping it. The onset of each new season brings us a seemingly endless supply of this increasingly sensational and entirely ridiculous world, and my addiction is constantly fed.

It was fed especially well last night.

JOE MILLIONARE
WHO IS OUT FOR LOVE? WHO IS IN IT FOR MONEY?
Romance and reality intertwine as 20 women travel to France for a whirlwind romance with a man whom they think is a dashing millionaire. What will happen when the truth is finally revealed that he is a just a regular "Joe" and his wealth is a facade? Will his true love accept him for who he is, or reject him in search of greener pastures? As this handsome, young, eligible man begins his search for "The One," he discovers which of these women are out for true love and which are just interested in his bank account in JOE MILLIONAIRE…

Will his chosen companion reject him once she learns the truth, or will true love win out?

Following ABC's wild success with The Bachelor, FOX too has decided to hop aboard the love train, throwing in the aforementioned exciting new twist to make things really interesting. In the premier episode last night, we met Joe Millionaire (aka Evan), and watched as he bumbled around his borrowed chateau, clumsily pulling the wool over the eyes of 20 gold digging women who were so busy mentally tallying up their fortune that they failed to notice that Mr. Moneybags didn't know his middle name, let alone how to properly mount a horse or waltz around a ballroom. After the end of a nauseatingly boring, yet strangely compelling hour, Evan narrowed down the field to a mere 12 ladies, a choice seemingly based solely on breast size. Next week...Catfighting and crying!! Meow! Sign me up.

Sad that you missed Joe Millionaire? Don't fret! Network television never disappoints! Premiering in the upcoming weeks are a whole slew of bad reality programs in which you can get your fix.

The Bachelorette
Not missing a beat, ABC picks up right where The Bachelor left off, with ...The Bachelorette. This gem of a show stars Trista, the rejected finalist from the first season of The Bachelor. She's not letting being dumped on national television get her down! Trista is "still single and optimistic about love," and looking to find a man. Good luck Trista. Good Luck. Hopefully one of the men you spend two weeks with will ask you to marry him and you will live happily ever after. Realistic AND romantic. Sigh.

Meet the Folks
Those crazy matchmakers at NBC are at it again. Meet the Folks is back, and badder than ever. Have you ever liked a guy, and thought to yourself, "Gosh, I really wish I could compete for his love with eight other girls, have frightening secrets revealed about myself on national television, go through a lie detector test in a scary basement, and then have his parents tell me that I am or am not good enough to be with their son." ?? Then this is the show for you. See the website for details about how you too can be humiliated in front of millions of viewers.

High School Reunion
Ever want to re-live high school for all eyes to see? Well the WB is letting 17 former classmates from the Oak Park/River Forest, Illinois Class of 1992 do just that on their new reality series High School Reunion. The tagline reads: 17 Former Classmates; 14 Days on an Island; 11 Lingering Crushes; 6 Old Scores to Settle; 5 Amazing Transformations; 3 New Loves; 2 Knock-outs; 1 Marriage Proposal.

I watched the premier. I saw: 1 day on the island, 3 makeout sessions, 2 dates, 1 breakup, lots of tears, 3 washed up jocks with beer bellies, receding hairlines too numerous to count, and a bunch poor saps willing to whore their lives out for a shot at being on national television.

The Surreal Life
Saving the best for last, I reveal to you...The Surreal Life. A brief description says it all:

The recipe for The Surreal Life is a simple one: Take seven bigger-than-life celebrities from every genre of the entertainment industry - rap music, heavy metal, feature films, sitcom, drama, and even reality television itself. Throw them together under pressure. Stir.

A group camping trip, "Naked Sushi" night, a softball game, a unique backyard talent show and a surprising Hollywood wedding ... it's all part of everyday life - and it's always surreal.

I have to give The WB the blue ribbon on this one. Never has a reality show combined everything I look for in bad reality television and thrown in washed up celebrities to boot. It's too good to be true. This is the ultimate, the best, the Sistene Chapel of reality TV. The possibilities are endless. Just imagine... What will happen if rap star-come-preacher MC Hammer has to share a bathroom with Motley Crue's Vince Neil? Will Webster get the top bunk or the bottom bunk? What will Playboy Playmate Brande Roderick wear to bed? Will Corey Feldmen get laid? Hopefully on January 9th at 9pm all these questions, and more, will be answered. I for one know I will be watching.

Still a fan of the old standards? Not to worry. In addition to all of these exciting new and innovative series, you can rest assured that you will still be able to view all your favorites. Survivor, Fear Factor, Big Brother, American Idol, The Osbornes...They're all returning once again to rot our minds and provide thrilling water cooler conversation. Best of all, and most important in my eyes, The Real World still continues to plug along in its unprecedented 12th season. Minus, of course, is any semblance of reality whatsoever. The time is long past when we witnessed roommates inhabiting sparsely decorated apartments and scraping together money for food. These new kids live in an Ikea showroom on the 20-something floor of a posh Las Vegas Casino. Their biggest hardship seems to be the fact that they stay out too late every night dancing, drinking,and media-whoring. In and of itself, that's not so bad, but their hangovers render them so exhausted that they are too tired to behave dramatically enough to merit extended periods of camera time.

God I love reality TV.