About two years ago I was conned into adopting two cats. I am not a cat person. I have never liked cats and even now, being an owner of two of them, I am not sure that I am compatible with the feline species. To this day I'm still a bit foggy as to how I ended up being the proud owner of Max and Senin; two wayward brothers.
It all happened really fast. I was traipsing around Union Square one gorgeous spring afternoon, when I happened upon the Wal Mart of pet stores...PetCo. In the window were tiny little cats of all colors, all of whom were squirming around and looking irresistible. I was lured into the store by these creatures, as if I had no mind of my own. One second I was poking my finger in a cage, gesturing at two kittens, and the next moment I was as the cash register paying for a ton of cat supplies and holding in my hand a kennel containing the aforementioned two little cats. The events that occurred between the petting and the purchase included a small but rather important incident in which a shelter volunteer told me that they would be "terminating the animals" if I didn't adopt them. (Yes...I am a sucker.)
The cats caused me all sorts of trouble, including (but not limited to), the destruction of my couch, the ruination of several curtains, and the peeing on of numerous pillows...but regardless of the thousands of dollars worth of damage that the cats caused me, I began to actually enjoy their company. In a city like New York, what better pets to have than those that can sustain themselves for days with out having to be walked or petted? The lifestyle that I led sometimes caused me to be away from home for days (or only home for hours while I slept), and they supported that lifestyle marvelously. We lived in relative peace and harmony for some time, and I had actually gotten to a point where their naughty behaviour became somewhat charming...that is until I realized yet another reason why having cats can be a detriment to your life.
Cats can prevent you from getting laid.
I never really realized just how many people are allergic to cats. In the past year, at least three times, Max and Senin have prevented me from enjoying a pleasurable evening with a nice young man. On these occasions, my cats (damn them) have turned these romantic encounters into horribly embarrassing and often dangerous situations. In one particularly disastrous incident, the gentleman in question's allergy was so great that when he finally put himself into a cab, he almost directed the cab driver to the nearest hospital in fear that his throat would constrict and cause imminent death. Other times the allergy simply caused discomfort and sneezing, but was no doubt just as frustrating as a constricting throat.
Can you imagine having to give up the opportunity for a sexual encounter simply because you can't handle your date's pussy?
