Question: What is the single biggest reason for the lack of productivity in the workplace?

Answer: Meetings.

Most likely way too much has already been written about this topic, however that will not stop me from writing even more. Something honestly has to be done about this problem. My company is completely out of control. I'm pretty sure that I've been spending more time in meetings lately than actually doing the work that I am being paid to do. We have meetings about ridiculous nonsense, and we have them ALL THE TIME. We've even had meetings where the topic of discussion was what we were going to talk about in the next meeting.

Time: 12:30 PM
Date: August 8, 2002
Place: Conference Room C

I am currently sitting in meeting number 4 of the day. It's only 12:30 PM. A gentleman with a stutter just spent 30 minutes explaining to us what a page view is. I had to physically restrain myself from banging my head against the table. I'm seriously considering feigning illness to get out of here. I've used the excuse that I had to go the bathroom once already, so that's not an option. Perhaps I can pretend to faint, although if I did that they'd probably make me attend a "make-up" meeting to get the useless information that I missed while faking unconsciousness. I must think of another plan.

20 minutes later....

One of our sales people just entered the conference room and asked if this was the "anti-cable pitch" meeting. Apparently he had gone to 3 conference rooms and stumbled upon the wrong meeting each time. We sent him on his way, as the meeting that I am in right now is entitled "How to sell the Internet."

30 minutes later...(1 hour into the meeting)

I thought that the meeting was over, but I was mistaken. We have now moved on to the question and answer period. So now, to add insult to injury, not only do I have to listen to the meeting leaders drone on and on about nonsense, I now get to listen to my moronic co-workers ask asinine questions that naturally result in unnecessarily long answers. I can't take it. This has to stop.

20 minutes later....

The guy leading the meeting just did a horribly racist impression of a man from Pakistan. I can't believe this is happening to me.

10 minutes later...

Finally I'm out of the meeting and back at my desk. I think I've reached a breaking point. I need to take serious action to fix this problem, but unfortunately that will have to wait, because I have another meeting in five minutes.