Jen is possibly one of the most accident-prone people I know. She has rolled down hills, fallen in mud, and once tilted off her chair at work and rolled into her neighbor's cubicle. She also had a suitcase thrown at her by a crazy person in Brooklyn and has been pushed down several times by strangers in Manhattan. She's broken heels off of her shoes and ended up splayed in the streets of midtown for people to step on her. She falls inside and outside, day and night, drunk and sober. I, of the ever-scientific mind, have decided to log the empirical evidence supporting Jen’s clumsiest periods, to determine if the most bumbling of episodes are related to, say, the tide or the fluctuation of the GNP. This project has only just begun, so apologies for the limited observations at present. Believe me, it will grow in time.

5/31
Jen fell in dust today. Spilled an entire Slim Fast. Dropped celery and carrots on the floor. Dropped a wine glass. Dropped another glass of wine. Also dropped a clove and spilled droplets of wine on my couch.

7/24
Jen fell down in front of Macy’s today. She also dropped a bag of rice cakes, three fell out, and she ran over them with her chair, spreading rice cake dust all over the floor. She also spilled a ¾ full glass of white wine. Not too bad so far. Oh, and knocked the Vegas ashtray to the floor (it did not break.)

8/9
Spilled a cup of coffee. Accidentally wiped red lipstick on her khaki pants. Lost her shoe while running up the stairs, had to hop down to get it. Spilled coffee grounds all over the kitchenette. (And it's only 11 am.)