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Recent Bitching
 
Give it a Rest, PILLOWREST
By Gina

It’s happening again. Someone has invented a completely superfluous product and has purchased air time on Animal Planet to entice me to purchase. Although I had the volume off for the duration of the mini-informercial, it is clear to me what PILLOWREST is, and what evils and annoyances it has been created to destroy. The 30-45 second clip is replete with examples of people with incredibly frustrated expressions on their faces as they lay back in bed onto two flat, unruly cotton slivers of pillows, or those pesky cumbersome armed reading pillows, ala those covered in brown courderoy and impossible to find in any home furnished after 1979. But soon these offensive excuses for a pillow can be purged from your life, for with two simple down paymentsof $19.95 + shipping and handling, the PILLOWREST and its alluring satin sheath (a $20 value, but yours free!) can be yours. The PILLOWREST can be manipulated into an upright or slanted position, and judging by the faces of the people on tv, will rid you of fitfull sleep at the hands of badly constructed pillows forever. Or at least until the day that you donate them to Goodwill after taking a look at your bed, a very long hard look at the PILLOWREST, and realizing that you must have been pretty stoned when you ordered it. Either that, or very, very tired.

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