Someone on tv is trying to sell me an automatic butter spreader – the Butter Butler. The commercial shows bumbling, disgruntled cooks and eaters slapping chunks of cantankerous oleo on their corn (a red slash slices through this image in the event that we didn’t realize what a BAD thing butter chunks can be) and mauling a slice of white bread while trying to spread more disagreeable blocks of bad better. An offensive butter dish on which rests a yellow chunk coated in crumbs and one with dark congealed corners are thrown in the trash. All this to sell me a $19.99 contraption that makes spreading butter EASY, PAINLESS, and APPETIZING. I thought the epil-stop-n-spray was scary, I found the abdominzor too good to believe, but this – this is just downright insulting. Butter Butler and the evil mastermind behind your existence – be damned!