Are YOU Ready for Mush Hour??

(Disclaimer: This “review” was written based solely on a single viewing of the trailer of the film. I am in no way implying that the information in this “review” is accurate in any way whatsoever. In addition, please note that NO stunt huskies were injured in the process of formulating this trailer review)

I was innocently watching TV the other day, when I was involuntarily thrust into the cruel world of anthropomorphically-oriented inter-species cinema. My “Real World: Back to NYC” marathon was rudely interrupted by a trailer for a movie starring Oscar-Award-Winning-Actor Cuba (pronounced: Kooba) Gooding Jr (of Jerry McGuire Fame). It seemed innocent enough at first, although it looked rather appalling. Cuba (Kooba), was basking in the sun on the shore of a magnificent beach. He was clearly well off and accustomed to “the good life”, a fact not stated clearly, but instead made apparent by his leisurely attitude and frothy drink in hand. Suddenly, and seemingly without any explanation, Cuba (Kooba) was all wrapped up in a fluffy parka and assorted snow gear. As the camera panned away from him it was revealed that he was definitely NOT on a fancy ski vacation in Aspen as one might expect. He was instead standing at the helm of a dog sled, with 8 beautiful huskies harnessed and ready to pull him smoothly over the icy tundra...or so we were made to think. The camera once again closed in on Cuba (Kooba), and he said something to the effect of, "This has gotta be just like driving a snowmobile." Just after he made this foreboding remark, there was a close-up on the lead sled dog who winked mischievously at the other dogs, and took off running. Naturally Cuba (Kooba) was not ready for this and tumbled comically off the sled. The voice boomed again: "Are YOU ready for Mush Hour." (It was at this point that I began to get flashbacks of a similar movie I once watched on a flight to Seattle called MVP: Most Valuable Primate. MVP: Most Valuable Primate told the story of a plucky little chimpanzee who took a liking to ice hockey, and helped a rag tag group of kids win a championship.) Perhaps I was in shock that this movie wasn't a joke (I checked twice that I wasn't on Comedy Central and was mistakenly viewing a back episode of SNL), but it wasn't made clear at all exactly how Cuba (Kooba) came to be the driver of a group of sled dogs. I'd be willing to bet a pretty penny on the fact that he inherited some shack in this undisclosed snowy locale, and had somehow gained custody of said team of sled dogs. More likely than not, this team of sled dogs was a champion team of sled dogs. This is all, of course, merely speculation on my part. We were then introduced to the dogs (I was frantically scribbling this down, so forgive me if they are incorrect): Deisel, Scoop, Nanna, Yodel, Sniffy, Mack, Duchess, and Demon. Demon appeared to be the leader AND the troublemaker - go figure. As one might expect, the personality of each individual dog was directly related to the NAME of each individual dog. Diesel appeared to be fast, Nanna - the voice of reason, Duchess seemed rather regal, and Sniffy...well, you get the picture. The rest of the trailer was rather unclear, but as you can imagine, the dogs were trouble from the word “MUSH”. Cuba (Kooba) was not a natural sled dog racer and went through the standard trials and tribulations that one might expect a man to go through when faced with the challenge of learning to race sled dogs. The dogs definitely had it in for Cuba (Kooba). They were constantly rebelling and being exceedingly wild. I MAY have even seen one of them smoking a cigarette while attending a raucous party that one of the dogs was hosting, but I'm not quite sure. It seems a bit far-fetched, although after MVP: Most Valuable Primate, nothing really surprises me anymore. I suppose it could have been one of those horn-type things that you blow on at birthday parties, but a cigarette just seems so apropos. I do have to note that throughout the trailer, we are treated to snippets of the dogs actively plotting against their intrepid new sled driver. Playing tricks on him, driving him off cliffs, wearing funny hats, that sort of stuff. I've never seen such a spectacle. In addition to having to constantly combat the plotting and scheming of the sled dogs (especially Demon - he's particularly naughty), Cuba (Kooba) also had a rival in an old curmudgeonly fellow that was apparently trying to take the dogs away from him. Towards the end of the trailer, it appeared that the dogs had begun to take a liking to Cuba (Kooba), and all had become ostensibly hunky dory. I don't know exactly how the movie ends, but we all know that this ain't rocket science, and once again I'd be willing to make bets on what happens. Perhaps there is a final sled dog race that is very important. Perhaps Cuba (Kooba)'s ownership of the now beloved group of dogs, Diesel, Scoop, Nanna, Yodel, Sniffy, Mack, Duchess, and Demon, rides on this race. Perhaps, he will lose his dogs and sled to the old man if he doesn't win. Perhaps. Regardless, I'll wager that he DOES win; as the final shot of the movie is of Cuba (Kooba) and his team of 8 huskies leisurely sunning themselves on the very beach that Cuba (Kooba) sunned himself on at the beginning of the trailer. The dogs, of course, were all wearing matching bathing suits and visors. Despite the fact that they had obviously been ripped out of their natural habitat, they seemed rather happy. One can only hope.

Are YOU ready for Mush Hour?? Are you???? I know I am.