For a long time I’ve been convinced that man is not monogamous by nature. I believe that monogamy is a social construction, that religious and government organizations have imposed the one-man-one-woman-till-death-do-us-part dogma on which the majority of people base their lifestyles in order to keep us subdued and obedient. I’ve chuckled at recent scientific discoveries that most of the animals and birds that we have been taught are monogamous really aren’t. DNA paternity testing of several species of birds have found that the mommies aren’t staying as close to the nest as we have thought. I know a woman in a healthy, functional polyamorous marriage and a man whose life-partner and he are open and accepting of one another’s lovers. On paper, or in the lives of others, it all makes sense. But reality is a far cry from the ideal.
As much as I believe in open relationships and freeing ourselves from the bonds of monogamy, I am a monogamist. I’m a big, doofy, self-tortured monogamist. I think one way but act another. I think the whole world should be about free love and honesty (people wouldn’t feel like such big losers when their relationships take a turn of infidelity if they realized that it’s only natural), yet I cannot even have a crush on two different people at once. I’ve only cheated on one boyfriend, and that was in college, and we hadn’t been sleeping together for over a month when I strayed (a month hiatus from the bedroom? In college? Something was clearly wrong.) I ended that relationship as soon as I could not remain faithful. Now I’m back to the shackles of monogamy, and I’m not even in a relationship. Before my relationships even start, monogamy gets in the way.
Here’s my deal. I’m very picky. When you’re very picky, the universe of men who you are interested in giving your time to is small. When you’re only considering one of them at a time, that makes it even smaller. Add to that the fact that the people I am most attracted to seem to be the least attainable, and I'm going to be monogamously single (nonogamous?) forever. Does he live four blocks away and call me a few times a week? I’ll tire of him in a matter of days. Does he live a few thousand miles away, never calls, and returns emails once every month or so? Is he in the Peace Corps, going through a divorce, or gay? Sounds great! Sign me up! I think I’m in love!
Clearly something has to change. The life of the nonogamist is precariously balanced between self-doubt (should I lower my standards?) and despair (screw 'em all!). Thankfully, I have lots of wonderful friends to keep me company while I mull this over. It makes the lapses between unrequited crushes a little easier to bear.
Sheesh! I wish I had your problem. I get crushes way too easy.
Girrrl...you have just said every word that I've been thinking - verbatim. Thank God someone gets it. Amen!!
I hear ya, sister. We get crushes on unattainable guys so that we won't get hurt. We are too afraid of rejection so we only set our sights on guys we can't have. That's why we're so picky, we are only attracted to the ones we know we could probably never get and if we did get them we'd get bored right away! But how to break the pattern of behavior?!? Personally I need a large order of self-confidence here! Yes, thank God for good friends.
I think you're thinking about it too much. There's nothing wrong with straying as long as you don't get caught:))
is there a membership to this club? can anyone join? because i'm right there with you. have never gone in for the bad boy thing, but the un-attainable guys get me (err..or not) every time. must be the stubborn streak in me.
...I'm caught up in the "before my relationships even start monogamy gets in the way" statement...isn't that the straight up truth...I think it's all a primal thing...first date is good...second better...instinct takes over and we are thinking...good mate...good genes...good babies...GOOD GRIEF! grin
I hear you...not quite available is my MO too. I am the queen of bad timing. Every guy who is just out of a relationship, or wants out, is drawn to me and damn if I can't just fall for them. The great guy who is available and wants to ask me out...not so much. And then of course I focus on the one guy I can't have.
At least we have focus.
Maybe Allin and I can get together? :))
I'm the good mate, good genes, guy and combining that with on-line dating has allowed me too meet and date more than a few women, but in staying with proper behaviour, I don't stay with them long. Guess I know I can do it with another woman whenever I want. Oh and btw, ever since the early cave man days we men have been programmed (by nature) to seek out and be with more than one woman, so do you think 200 years of "monogamy" programming will change that? I think it will take a little more time :-)
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