Bitch-Sessions.com: One Night Friend

One Night Friend
By GxxP

Wurd of the Day

One Night Friend – The act of hanging out monogamously with a stranger at a bar with intentions of friendship. At the end of the night the obligatory phone numbers and email addresses are exchanged, yet the chances of a follow up conversation are slim to none. Synonym: Platonic one night stand.

September 18, 2002 · 10:08 AM
Permanent Link · Comments (64)

Comments

Astronaut food.

Email me if you want to see the article...
Posted by: urbanumbrella@yahoo.com on September 25, 2002 05:36 PM

I tried emailing this to you, but it bounced --

http://www.nationalpost.com/artslife/story.html?id={AE2E3816-6DDC-4F60-8BF1-2913\
B2024151}

(No) sex and the city
Astronaut food dating: New Yorkers keep their egos
nourished with
no-fuss instant relationships

Lauren Mechling
National Post

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

I've always maintained that the reason that New York
works so well is
that nobody is ever in a very good relationship. Love
makes you
happy. Love makes you stay in at night. Love makes you
start thinking
about real estate in Connecticut.

Returning to the Big Apple after a couple of years
abroad, I was
appalled to see what has happened to the city: The
place has become
one big swollen heart. Boys and girls are gliding over
the Brooklyn
Bridge, holding one another's hands fanatically. The
restaurants are
overrun with couples too goo-goo-eyed to bother
spooning into their
balsamic ice cream sundaes. I nearly hiccuped when I
saw a duo
playing toesie on the Q train.

The city has changed. It seems to have fallen madly
and stupidly in
love.

On a recent warm night, however, my worries were put
to rest when two
friends and I met up at our neighbourhood bar. While I
was spacing
out at the sight of patrons sliding their barstools
closer and closer
together, pairing off like pigeons, my cellphone rang.
It was Neil
(names have been changed), a man I've been lucky to
know for a couple
of years. He wanted to know if I'd meet him for a
drink sometime. We
arranged to see each other the following night.

I hung up and proceeded to tell my friends about the
odd and not very
romantic nature of my relationship with Neil. In the
beginning, Neil
and I experimented, going on a couple of dates. They
were gentle, and
nothing came of them. I assumed that was the end of
Neil and me. It
wasn't.

We've kept in touch ever since and have come to care
about one
another. Our closeness is facilitated by the fact that
one of us
always seems to be involved with somebody else. Here's
where it gets
weird: Neither of us has ever met the other's partner.

I confided to my friends that I have on occasion
joined Neil for a
walk in the park, a French movie and dinner and wine.
Afterwards, we
say good night and take separate taxis home.

"Do you think that's nuts?" I asked.

Neither of my companions seemed the least bit
confused.

"I do that all the time," said one of them. "When I
was going out
with my boyfriend, I was always seeing my
ex-boyfriends. And now that
I've just broken up with him, it's my turn to go out
for drinks with
men who have girlfriends."

"What if they didn't have girlfriends?" I asked.
"Would you still
go?"

"No," she replied. "I wouldn't want anything to
happen!"

My other companion watched us slyly but then
confessed: "I do it too.
Everybody does it."

The city is a tangled web of cross-flirting and
cross-dating.
According to a very informal survey among my friends,
more e-mails
and phone calls are exchanged between people who are
only play-acting
than between genuine couples.

And so, while it might appear that the city is flooded
with ecstatic
couples, it's more likely that most of these apparent
lovebirds are
actually sleeping alone. Or with someone else.

Call it Astronaut Food dating. It's the bedrock of
romantic life in
New York.

Just as astronauts have freeze-dried meals on hand
when they're
cruising through outer space, New Yorkers keep their
social cupboards
full of no-fuss instant dates. Phone numbers, e-mail
addresses,
calendars of ex-boyfriends birthdays -- there is
always something on
hand.

An Astronaut Food date usually consists of two people
who appear
utterly fascinated by each other for a very short and
intense block
of time. Three or four hours later, egos sated, they
both return to
their respective homes feeling adequately worshiped.
They can get on
with the rest of their lives.

Astronaut Food fills in the gaps, either between
relationships or
during one that's sagged into something a little too
realistic. While
it's dangerous to smother your current boyfriend or
girlfriend with
too much love and attention -- lest they dump you
--there is nothing
risqué about connecting with someone you're not likely
to see again
for the next few months.

My friend Armstrong, a thirty-something TV news
producer who always
wears beige suits, has had the same Astronaut Food for
over 10 years.
"We talk on a regular basis," he said. "I see it as
the Red Cross of
relationships, what you resort to when prospects are
bleak and you're
not sure you're going to get nourishment anywhere
else."

The older the Astronaut Food, the safer. There's no
best-before date
with Astronaut Food. So there's no need to refresh
your stock. Since
most Astronaut Food tends to outlive real-life
relationships, it's
common for the two respective romantic statuses to
fluctuate over
time. In the blink of a break-up, it is perfectly
possible to go from
having Astronaut Food to being Astronaut Food.

Most people keep Astronaut Food for three different
purposes.

First, there are those who have zero intention of
tucking in to the
Astronaut Food. Just knowing it's there is enough to
steady them.

Second, there are those who keep Astronaut Food on
hand, nibbling on
it occasionally, but mostly saving it for later, when
the cupboard's
bare.

And finally, there's the immediate gratification camp,
people who
arrange to have a drink with their Astronaut Food, and
then indulge
in a little necking at the end of the night. The only
reason this
category still counts as Astronaut Food rather than
full-out
philandering, is that the two parties are not likely
to jump astride
a white horse and ride off to Mexico. Instead, they
will continue to
go home alone while continuing to supplement one
another's love lives
for years to come.

New Yorkers are no fools. With Astronaut Food, we'll
never find
ourselves left alone. At least not in the short term.

© Copyright 2002 National Post

Posted by: urbanumbrella@yahoo.com on September 26, 2002 10:30 AM

I can't get that email to work right now either. Mmmmph.

Thanks for the article - the astronaut food concept is so true. I have a few male friends in the city who are either married or in serious relationships, and whenever we get together their wives or girlfriends are almost *never* present. Because I've never gone home with any of these men, our friendships have stood the test of time. It's a unique sort of friendship though - somewhat sexually charged, yet stronger from neither one of us acting on it (beyond the occasional drunken smooch - although two of these friends I've never even kissed.) Somehow I feel that if I would have slept with them I would have stopped hearing from them years ago.

Guess that puts me in the first AND third categories, eh?
Posted by: GxxP on September 26, 2002 10:51 AM

That's brilliant: Astronaught Food! You know, the funny thing is, I've done that too but I've never really thought about it like that before.
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