I present this five year old piece (the World Trade Center reference is shocking to read today, as if I’m referring to the living days of a now-deceased friend) as a reminder of how hard it was to be happy in any city other than New York, where I’d lived for only a year and two weeks at the time of this entry. I’d like to think my tolerance of other communities has improved, but it probably hasn’t. I just happen to have a job that doesn’t send me to conferences in Florida anymore.
*
June 15, 1997
The Orlando that I loved as a kid probably hasn’t changed that much - besides maybe getting a little bigger and becoming the proud home of even more ridiculous attractions. About ten years have passed since I was last here, and I think I now hate it. All of the buildings appear to have been constructed out of Lego’s, painted in bright colors with enormous signs to entice the tourist to part with his green. The ride from the airport to the hotel was grim - the shuttle bus driver took it upon himself to make unsolicited announcements the entire time. Nothing he announced interested me after his first observation - “To the left, those two buildings are the original airport terminal.” The buildings were small and desolate. “They are now used for storage,” he added. I snickered quietly to myself. About half a mile up we got our next announcement. “To the left, E.T.” I gazed blankly at an enormous billboard with the extraterrestrial of Spielberg fame groping the sign from behind. “His eyes move,” our omniscient guide added. Sure enough, E.T.’s blue eyes, the size of enormous cue balls, slowly moved downward. Fascinating.
“To your right, the Terminator. In 3-D!,” the driver's voice reached the pinnacle of excitement. I and my five fellow passengers stared at another Universal Studios billboard. I suddenly grew disappointed, and moments later, depressed, as the driver gave us yet another piece of crucial information. “To your right, the old Hyatt Hotel.” It was an enormous peach colored building set a few hundred yards back from the highway. Before it laid a stretch of flat muddy land, a future parking lot site, I presumed. “Behind the hotel is a shopping mall,” he announced with glee. “You can exit the back of the hotel and enter the mall!”
I looked at the little sign on the dashboard. Your driver is GEORGE HARTER, it read in large white print. Gratuity is not included in fare, the tiny disclaimer followed. I considered tipping him to not shed light on any mundane trivialities for the remainder of the journey, but I didn’t want to be rude. Perhaps the others were enjoying it.
Soon we exited the highway and continued our route onto International Drive, a prospect which I found exciting until I realized what a bore International Drive was. Ripley’s Believe It Or Not, a Japanese chain restaurant transplanted in Orlando, and “Amazing Animals” (See them! Pet them! Feed them!) were the highlights of this leg of the journey. I suddenly felt the urge to get a drink.
“Where is Church Street?”, I inquired, remembering the recommendation my officemate Shannon made to me before I left New York.
“Downtown,” George replied, pointing to a tiny skyline barely visible to the human eye.
“Is that where the clubs are?” I asked.
“Why, yes,” George answered, readying himself to spew more facts. “On one side of Church Street Station you have The Dixieland Jazz Club.” Oh god, I could only hope that the other side of the street held more promise for my particular tastes. “On the other side of the street is a country-western club that’s loads of fun.” I almost started to cry.
George delivered me to the Radisson, and I suddenly felt a rush of panic. Surely I was at the wrong hotel and would have to shell out another twelve bucks to meander down International Drive. “I believe I’m staying at the Radisson Twin Towers,” I corrected. The name had instilled me with World Trade Center images when I made my arrangements.
“This is the Twin Towers,” George reassured me. The Twin Towers in actuality consists of two squat buildings, no more than twenty stories high.
“Oh, I guess I missed the towers,” I said, handing George a tip and wandering into the hotel, searching painfully for information on something to do that didn’t involve Disney, killer whales, or one of the major film production companies.
*
I don’t quite believe this. I think I’m in the Peoria of the south. I’m in the “hub” of downtown and it’s completely deserted, aside from a few straggling African clothing shops that are still open past 6 pm. Cars speed down the highway overpass looming just behind me. I may as well be on an island with no boat - how the hell do people without cars get around here? And more importantly, where do they go? I find myself yet again a fish without water in my long blank tank dress and black purse - I could possibly be the only living - or non-living for that matter (if you count the gargantuan Disney characters schlepping about somewhere - I know they're out there) - entity in this city that isn’t clad in neon or Hawaiian print. Damn the airlines and their “stay for Saturday night” discount fares! I want to be in New York! I want to be around people! I want to be in a city where there are things to do at 6:30 on a Saturday night! Shit.
*
Okay. The evening is minimally progressing. For starters, I went out entirely too early, but I had to get out of tourist trap hell. So now I’m in tourist trap hell, downtown. A quick walk in the opposite direction I originally set out in led me to the “happening” section of Church Street, which still isn’t saying much. I appear to have stumbled onto the only decent bar in town, Sapphire, where a live band or two soon promise to play. The bouncer’s pretty cool - he gave me a VIP pass even though I apparently don’t need it. It was some sort of incentive to return, even though that was inevitable given the options. (I’m just not in the mood for dance clubs named after the happening districts of other cities.) I did however pass some time shopping, buying more of what I already have, at shops I’ve already visited (Express, Vicky’s Secret), just in different colors from the clothes I already own. Man. Give me some money and some free time and I’m a goner. I must not spend a lot of time shopping in New York just because I’m never this bored. Now I’m perched at the bar, pulling the writing thing, which must really annoy everyone. Whatever. The bouncer seemed to be in agreement with me - the cult’o’Disney owns this town. He’s friends with a girl who had to train intensively for two weeks for a $6-an-hour job as Disney characters. She had to master each of their individual signatures and mannerisms and swear on her life that she wouldn’t allow herself (or himself, depending on the character) to be photographed with any social deviants who may actually be smoking a cigarette. I am reminded of the Meg (college roommate) Disney days, when she returned to us and immediately began filling the apartment which such frivolous items as Mickey Mouse cutting boards. How badly I wanted to set that thing on fucking fire, I can’t even tell you. According to Nora (Peoria friend), Kira (her sister) is a member of the same cult following, adorning the walls of her daughter’s room in Mickey Mouse wallpaper and going so far as to wear clothes decorated with Disney characters in public (not the little girl, but Kira. Um...?) The government annihilates Wako but allows this travesty to continue. It just doesn’t make sense.
* * * * * * * * * * *
For a few years now, my grandparents have taken a bit of criticism from others in the family - my grandfather in particular - for dwelling on the negative. For example, my aunt thought that he was not of sound mind when he wrote his Christmas letter a few years back. I read the letter, and actually found it refreshingly straightforward, as far as holiday letters go. I think my grandfather's crime is that he's realistic - and in the tough years that have followed the accusations, a number of people in our family have adopted his realistic viewpoint. That was '97 and this is '02, and a lot has changed. Below you will find one of my first brushes with the issue.
June 16, 1997
Orlando, FL
Last night I had dinner with Grandma and Grandpa. For the most part it was great - they both looked well and were completely coherent, not bad for their 78 and 81 years respectively. I thought we might run out of fuel for the conversation but we didn’t - in fact it was almost smoother than dinner with Mom, Dad, and Greg because we had so much to catch up on, whereas with the fam we often find ourselves exchanging anecdotes about work and weather. The grandparents, on the other hand, entertained me with stories of their past travels - which I found interesting (am I getting old?) I was actually picturing what it was like for Grandma to raise Mom and Chuck while Grandpa was always gone. For example, Grandma moved back to Chicago to have Mom because Grandpa has just been relocated to Utah, or somewhere depressing, and she didn’t want to have the baby alone. And Chuck, he was born in Panama. Subsequently they moved to New Mexico, Morocco, Germany, Indianapolis... I got as far as Virginia with them before they had to visit the buffet. We lost track of the conversation when they returned with their plates piled high with roast beef and various salad items. All in all, it was cool. They gave me the skinny on their friends the Davises who finally divorced after being together for ages. Throughout nearly the entire marriage Ken was kicking it with this woman from Colombia who he hooked up with through the church. He helped put her kids through college and got them jobs and got her a job and encouraged her to drop her drunk husband, which she did. This whole time he would go over to their little shack of a house to make repairs and such and his wife is stranded at home, sometimes for entire nights on end, thinking, “I wonder why it’s taking all night to caulk the shower?” Actually, she had more of a clue than that, but refused to dump him. Now he’s dumped her, and she’s alone and overweight and she recently suffered a stroke so when she speaks she sounds like a two year old. It’s absolutely horrible. Grandma and Grandpa told a lot of uplifting stories like that. They were talking about traveling to San Antonio for Grandpa’s Air Force squadron reunion, but there’s almost no one left now. Out of 200, maybe about 50 of those old coots are alive, and half of those are invalids. How fucking horrible. Grandpa also went into a blow by blow account of Grandma’s brush with fatality last year, going so far as to mention that when the doctor “cut her open and looked at her insides” (yes, those were his exact words), he found her intestines to be purple. Had they been black, he would have “sewn her up and let her die on the table.” All the while Grandma is listening to this, and I’m feeling a touch uncomfortable for her. But miraculously, they’re alive and well, and looking remarkably good I might add. I was fearing they would be shriveled and scary but they weren’t at all. We shared kind parting words, and Grandpa alluded to possibly seeing me in New York if they ever venture out to visit some old friends in Long Island. “But they’re so crippled up there’s probably not a lot we could do with them,” he added. God I was sad. I went back up to my hotel room and smoked five cigarettes, which of course put me a few baby steps closer to being there myself. In the present, however, that just doesn’t seem to matter.
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